Meeting Someone after a Divorce

This blog is by no means intended as relationship guide. Nonetheless, looking at only one side of the coin is inappropriate in light of all that is involved in a divorce. Thus there are two hypothetical scenarios laid out when meeting someone after a divorce and hoping to embark upon a new relationship. Notice how expectations make all the difference in the world. Please remember that these are two fictional situations. A man and a women meet and there are a few sparks. This encounter turns into a happy date; note the purposeful ambiguity of the word “happy”, amongst the male and female. Afterward one of two scenarios might unfold.

Scenario one starts with a boy and girl that have an excellent time together. The boy just ended a divorce and is already looking for his next soul mate. The girl never went through a marriage and it is not a near term thought on her mind. After the date the boy had such a fun time, but he did not recall such chemistry, albeit different, except for the fonder memories of his ex-wife. Unfortunately he ends up caught in the moment and rather simply seeing how things work out over time is a little pushy. He calls the girl just to say hello with no real purpose other than that. He is attempting to feel a similar closeness to that which he once felt before his divorce. To make the story short, the girl, although interested in the guy sees desperation, rarely an attractive quality, and as a result they never meet again. The girl moves on just fine and hopefully the boy learns a tough lesson. If the boy realizes the error of his ways soon enough it is perhaps possible to correct this.

Actually, let’s simply summarize the second scenario, by stating it is the converse of the first. While there are many takeaways from this story, one is to let a situations run its course. Do not attempt to speed up a potentially excellent relationship and thus virtually condemning it to failure, with hopefully a few possible ways to pull it back together. Conversely, do not attempt to slow down a relationship simply because you had a rough divorce. The later mistake is typically much more correctable than the former. However, same the trouble, grief and anguish already involved with meeting someone after a divorce and avoid each of the scenarios.

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